LIfe is Messy...God is Love

There is something comforting in knowing that no matter how big of a mess I make my life God has a way of taking it and turning it into something glorious and beautiful. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that the things I did were always right and centered in God's will, because that would be far from the truth. I am a sinner and I have made and will continue to make stupid decisions in my life, but God has taken those things which I am ashamed of in my past and built character in me that would not have been there if I had not experienced my mess-ups.

People say that life is not like a movie but I say it can be when God is in your life. I cannot tell you or even recall all of the interesting things that have happened in my life, but what I can tell you is that if it had been caught on tape it could be the next big movie! My life has been laced with lies, deceit, love, life, adventure, comedy and romance, but if my life was laid out for the world to see I may not want to keep living because of the embarrassment I would cause myself. This is exactly why I shutter at the thought of someone, who can see my deepest darkest secrets, laid out before him. No matter how much I try to hide or cover up my past God sees through it all.

BUT do you want to know the part that knocks me on my butt every time? It's that God loves me beyond myself. He loves me because I am me and because he can, and because knows no other way.

1 John 4:8, 16

Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

Did you read that? God is Love, it does not say that God loves, it says, GOD IS LOVE! The Bible describes me as his Bride, it paints me as a magnificent picture that has been created with the very breath of his mouth. The Bible says that when God created human beings as a part of creation he said they were VERY good.(Genesis 1:31) It says that I was created for his pleasure and glory (Isaiah 43:7), yet he created everything else in the world to bring joy to me. How is that for the perfect love story?

I cannot help but smile when I realize that somebody loves me that much. But here is the ultimate kicker, God did not only create everything to bring me joy, He gave everything by sending his son to die for me so that I could spend eternity with him. (John 3:16) The biggest sacrifice that anyone can give is their life and God gave his life for mine.

John 15:13

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

WOW! WOW! WOW! I stand speechless before a God who knew what I would do to him and how I

would turn my back on him yet loves me enough to still say, "come back to me. I gave my life for you

and I am waiting for you."

BIG Dreams

In September of 2009 a pastor, Jud Wilhite, gave a sermon in church about setting goals in your God given dreams. He quoted John McArthur in saying, " Let me follow a man around for two weeks and I can tell you where he will be in five years from now." The sermon went on to say that we are called to live life abundantly in everything we do. He talked about how our dreams will not just fall into our laps but that it is an everyday step by step process. Goals need to be set daily in attaining and working toward your God given dream and this is the most important point he made....GOD must be in every step.

That is the part that I find myself struggling with most because, when i do get to the place where things ARE going the way I have planned... I forget that it has been God that got me there. How can somebody be so self centered in thinking that all things miraculous that happen are a direct result of the wise choices they have made? It's a stupid way of thinking yet I find myself very often marveling at the wonderfulness of me.

The next verses I found cut me to the heart. I realized that there is nothing I can do that will lead me to success. Yes there are actions I can take, but the Bible is very clear that blessing comes from God and destruction will come to anyone who does not come to God. Yes, I agree that success in this life can be attained on your own, but is it fulfilling and does it ultimately matter in light of eternity?

PROVERBS 16:18, 20

PRIDE GOES BEFORE DESTRUCTION AND HAUGHTINESS BEFORE A FALL.

THOSE WHO LISTEN TO INSTRUCTIONS WILL PROSPER

THOSE WHO TRUST IN THE LORD WILL BE JOYFUL.

Relapse

It is the moments of relapse that are the most painful memories in my life. Over and over again, I get drawn into the world and its glamour and glitz only to find out later that I stepped away from the life that I sincerely desired. The enticement that the world emanates goes beyond fame and popularity, it encompasses all aspects of the dreams of individuals and a promise to fulfill every part of your life that you THINK is missing.

I cannot count for you the times that I have fallen into the trap of thinking that my life needed more than I already had. It was not until I was in over my head that I realized I had left behind everything I truly wanted, to chase after empty promises that left my starving and begging to be rescued. Yet it was in those times that I saw the majesty of God and his love for me encompassing everything that I yearned to be. No matter how deep I buried myself God still found a way to reach down and pull me out when I was sufficiently dissatisfied.

PROVERBS 16:1-3 (NLT)

WE CAN MAKE OUR OWN PLANS, BUT THE LORD GIVES

THE RIGHT ANSWER. PEOPLE MAY BE PURE IN THEIR OWN EYES,

BUT THE LORD EXAMINES THEIR MOTIVES.

COMMIT YOUR ACTIONS TO THE LORD, AND YOUR PLANS WILL SUCCEED.

My mission statement

Britney Thompson,

called to be a living sacrifice to god. (Romans 12:1,2)

commissioned to be pure and blameless in the sight of God and man. (Philippians 1:10)

Petitioned as a disciple of jesus to go and preach

the gospel to every nation, baptizing them and

teaching them (Matthew 28:19,20) how to rightly divide gods inspired word. (2 Timothy 2:15)

Recognizing that god will make everything

Beautiful in his own time. (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

Understanding that god knows more than I do (Isaiah 55:8) and managing my time on this earth accordingly.

Finally, I will remember that I have been created for this exact moment in history (Esther 4:14) and live every moment as though it were my last.

My mission statement is simple and concise, pulled directly from the Bible and still extremely relevant for today. Not only have I not lived up to this standard but I have failed miserably for years. I have forgotten what it means to live selflessly and am lost when it comes to realizing God's calling in my life. My dreams and aspirations have fallen by the wayside as I have spent time living…. "LIFE". You know exactly what I mean when I say "life". The perfect boyfriend (Who didn’t end up being so perfect), the glamorous job (That took up all my available time), the partying, the money (Still was never enough), basically everything the world tells me I need to be happy. But the truth is I have never been so unhappy. The majority of the time I forget how to smile, I forget the small things that make life worth living. I forget God, family, friends, trees, children, the small things that make life truly a life worth living.

People

One of my favorite things to do as a teenager was to people watch. I used to choose a high traffic spot in the mall (or walmart…it’s a long story) and watch as people walked by so consumed in their own lives that they forgot what they were doing. At times people were lost, you could tell those ones because they would look thoroughly confused and then just finally give up and make a decision at the last second in hopes of finding what they were suppose to be looking for. On occasion they would be back within a few minutes walking the opposite direction hoping for guidance and remembrance of where they were suppose to be going.

Then of course there were the empty people, these were the people who would put one foot in front of another, not really knowing where they were going and not really caring where they ended up. They just walk to walk because that is what they were suppose to do. The majority of the time these were the career type individuals who looked as if they had purpose but had forgotten how to live life.

The third type of people I saw where the panicky people. We all know this type of people, you know, the ones that make you uptight just looking at them. They would be practically running from one place to another afraid to lose an opportunity and always missing out on the best ones. I like to call these people the do it all mommy's, because the majority of the time they would be surrounded by children and bags and cell phones and only God knows what else.

The children with the do it all mommy's were the most fun to watch though. Oblivious to the plight of their adult counterparts they would stare in awe at the wonders of their surroundings, finding entertainment and joy in the things around them. They would stop to say hello to a shopper passing by or laugh out loud at a person they found funny.

Looking back in time I realize that in the past I have at one time or another filled every single one of these shoes. I have felt lost and in need of guidance, I have felt empty and stuck, unable to get out of my current predicament, and I have felt panicky always wondering if the next step I took would find me in a place of dissatisfaction and stress. Yet I find that the role I play least of all is the careless child. I more often then not find myself as a shopper passing by and wishing that I could have back that sense of simplicity, wonder and love that is so evident in the face of an innocent child.

A Fairy Tale

I watch movies a lot, especially the chick flic, girly movies. I know people say that it is a waste of time and can give unrealistic expectations to people, but I don't care, I love them. I get caught up in the story line and where the characters are going and what they are doing and I find myself in a world where anything can happen. I realize that these are only stories, they are only glimpses into the minds of peoples wildest dreams and imaginations, but I find myself seeing reality through rose colored glasses at times.

I believe that if in my wildest dreams and imaginations I am able to understand life more clearly, then it is merely an expression of the person that I long to be and the life I want to lead. Let me say that one more time…. I believe that if in my wildest dreams and imaginations I am able to understand life more clearly, then it is merely an expression of the person that I long to be and the life I want to lead. Try to wrap your mind around that statement. Basically what that means is this: In my dreams I become the person that I desire to be. When I lay the story of my life out in front of me I want to see it as a love story brilliantly played out on the screen before me.

I believe that when I am able to see my life in that way then my life becomes something entirely different. It becomes a picture that defines who I am, but more importantly who God was to me. A saying that I find to be interesting and very true is this. "Life is a tapestry." That is a true statement and quite simple, you can be going one direction one day and the opposite way the next. You constantly think to yourself how badly you are messing things up and what a mess your life has become. When you look back at the bigger picture of life, specifically, when you look at the tapestry of your life you realize that everything that happened was for a purpose. The end result paints a glorious portrait of life and it shows the divine nature of a God that works everything together for his own purpose.

A portrait of God...

I often wonder, how can someone that I have never seen or touched be such an intricate part of my life? How can a God who created everything care so much that he reaches down and touches the most secretive part of me? It makes me wonder how people can go through life all alone. How do they deal with problems and broken relationships by themselves? This thought breaks my heart, I even sometimes cry when I see people so miserable and living without hope. Then I have to kick myself because I allow myself to be miserable when I don't have any reason to be because I want to feel sorry for myself.

Recently God revealed himself to me in a way that GOT MY ATTENTION. I will get a little more in depth in the latter part of this blog but I want to share briefly a little bit of it with you now. I am a very stubborn person. I am also very independent which makes out for a very interesting combination when it comes to dealing with authority. In recent times every area of my life has been turned upside down. Let me illustrate. In June of 2008 I lost my job, my fiancé, my apartment, my stability and I realized at that time that I also had lost my self-worth. I was miserable, and rightly so. Worn out and hopeless I stumbled across a couple of verses from the book of Isaiah that gave me a reality check. Here they are:

ISAIAH 40:28-31 NLT

HAVE YOU NOT KNOWN?

HAVE YOU NOT HEARD?

THE EVERLASTING GOD, THE LORD

THE CREATOR OF THE ENDS OF THE EARTH

NEITHER FAINTS NOR IS WEARY.

HIS UNDERSTANDING IS UNSEARCHABLE.

HE GIVES POWER TO THE WEAK.

AND TO THOSE WHO HAVE NO MIGHT HE INCREASES STRENGTH.

EVEN THE YOUTH SHALL FAINT AND BE WEARY,

AND THE YOUNG MEN SHALL UTTERLY FALL.

BUT THOSE WHO WAIT ON THE LORD SHALL RENEW THEIR STRENGTH.

THEY SHALL MOUNT UP ON WINGS LIKE EAGLES,

THEY SHALL RUN AND NOT BE WEARY.

THEY SHALL WALK AND NOT FAINT.

ISAIAH 41:10,13 NLT

FEAR NOT FOR I AM WITH YOU;

BE NOT DISMAYED FOR I AM YOUR GOD.

I WILL STRENGTHEN YOU, YES I WILL HELP YOU.

I WILL UPHOLD YOU WITH MY RIGHTEOUS RIGHT HAND.

FOR I, THE LORD YOUR GOD, WILL HOLD YOUR RIGHT HAND

SAYING TO YOU 'FEAR NOT, I WILL HELP YOU.'

These verse instantly hit a cord with me. It was like God was saying to me, “Don’t you get it? I am God. I am capable of everything you’re not. I can do everything because I have all power. Oh and by the way, my desire is for you. I want you to be happy. I want you to be filled and I want you to soar on wings like eagles because of the mighty work I am able to accomplish in your life. Oh and to top it all off I am going to hold your hand through it all”

WOW…WOW…WOW. Aren’t those verses amazing? I get chills everytime I read them. I want to go share with everyone who God is when I read those segments of Isaiah. The thought of God caring enough for me to even want to see me be happy and succeed in life is overwhelming. Not to mention it gives me a sense of awe when thinking about the character of the ALMIGHTY GOD (El- Elyon). The Bible says that there is no one like our God. It explains a God of love a God of wrath a God with fights our battles for us, and a God of peace. Yet so often it is easy to overlook the fact that he desire to have a personal relationship with you and with me. These verses say that he desires to uphold us with his right and he wants to hold our hand through the struggles we face. What an amazing portrait of God!